Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
