the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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