walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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