If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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