When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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