Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
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btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
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get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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