she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
