you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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