no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
