I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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