I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
