so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
