Say something about gay babies.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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