His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Randomize
