Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
thus making me awesome and them whores
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
