I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
