I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
In America we eat man semen.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
