You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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