Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
