my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
