i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
