she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
