Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
