do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Everclear isn't food dammit
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
