you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
