The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
