Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
