I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
