im having a threesome with these popsicles
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
