textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize