I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize