They should really pass out barf bags in church
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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