Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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