I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
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