Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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