Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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