He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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