as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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