I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
