im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
