Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
