you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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