Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize