So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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