He told me they were just razor bumps!
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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