looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
she told me i tasted like america
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
