My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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