His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
