There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
My feet surprised me
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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