Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
