Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
