Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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