Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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