i think i have herpe
just one?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
How does one acquire holy water?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
