im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
