I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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