Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
