We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Oh god it's open bar.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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