I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
