Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
