I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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