I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'm both gender and math confused
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
