fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
